People are stupid.
#1 Heavy phone.
A girl told me she had to delete some photos off her phone because her phone was feeling too heavy. Same girl thought potatoes grew on trees.
#2 Gestational diabetes.
Former male coworker was talking about various health problems in the office.
He said that he checked his symptoms with WebMD and that one of the closest matches was gestational diabetes, but he couldn’t find any cases of men getting it.
#3 Reenactment scenes.
We were watching the ID channel about a couple of murderers that were executed. During the reenactment scenes, dude next to me says “That’s cool that they let them out of prison to film this.”
#4 LOTR universe.
Once had a conversation with a co-worker who told me that they wished they had lived back in medieval times because it would have been fun to battle orcs and dragons (this was right when the Lord of the Rings movies were coming out and were very popular).
At first, I assumed he was saying he would like to live in the LOTR universe. After a minute, I had a sudden realization. I came to realize he meant that he thought dragons and orcs and things like that really existed at one time. I (and several of our co-workers) spent the rest of the day, and months after, trying to convince him that wasn’t the case.
He strongly believed that during the dinosaur age there were also dragons, orcs, trolls etc and we were fighting them with swords and knights.
#5 The female Tarzan.
Not me, but a friend. She’s from the Philippines and she legitimately got asked if she lived in the trees when she was there.
#6 Black and white cows.
I was on a road trip with my wife and I had just woken up and I remarked “Hey look, cows.”. She honestly responded “Those arent cows, they arent black and white.”.
I laughed, thought she was joking. Nope. Straight up thought all cows were black and white.
“Soil erosion was caused by dinosaurs because they were so big and heavy” – year 10 geography.
#8 The seven seas.
Until I was a month shy of 22, I thought the seven seas were actually the seven Cs (continents).
#9 Watered down water.
I was waiting tables and a customer asked me for a water to go. “But no ice please, I have a long drive and I don’t want it to get watered down.” I started to laugh but realized she was serious.
So I repeated the order politely, “Okay, water, no ice?”thinking maybe she had meant to order a soda or tea or something and had misspoken. But no.
She genuinely just didn’t want any ice to melt in her water and water down her water…
My sister and I were at my dad’s house for his birthday dinner. So my sister had brought her kids-my 4-year old niece and 2-month old twin boys. My sister was exhausted, she had hardly slept in the last 2-months and coming to dinner was the first time out of the house in awhile.
She looked like crap, but was happy to be there with lots of family to take care of the kids for a couple hours. My step-monster, who has never had kids, asks her “Are you tired?”
She replies “Uh, yeah. the pregnancy was hard, I had complications from the c-section, they are not good sleepers or eaters, I’m always breastfeeding one of them, it’s been a very hard couple months. I’m always taking care of one of them.”
Step-monster replies, “Oh, that is hard. It sounds like when our dog was a puppy and we were kennel training her.” Everyone turned to look at her, mouths agape, including my dad. She wasn’t kidding. My sister says “Yup. It’s exactly like that.”
The spork is “the devil’s utensil” because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society.
A truck driver complained to me about the government “wasting our money on infrastructure”.
#13 Tiger wave.
My sister thought a tidal wave was called a tiger wave.
#14 Scientific theory.
>“Scientific theory is JUST a theory, there’s nothing to back it up.” Uhhhh….No.
#15 Same species.
My mom thought that anteaters and sloths are the same animal, just with different names.
#16 Disposable latex.
I worked in an open kitchen at the time. The boss told us we needed to wash our gloves (disposable latex) because he was having to buy too many.